I'll never want it and i don't wanna it be ever

what are you going to feel when you got a new class tuition and you got a lotta new classmates there joining you to study together though you are not in the same school ?
that question mark didn't finish my sentence, and when you wanted to get them as your new heads they will just act like i-dont-care-ass ,eventhough they actually have known you and eventhough actually they were in the same school like yourself but they moved away.
that's what i'm onto at the moment.

Words are hurt eventhough feelings aren't real.

you got a new head for you,you got her to your life after the shits you told me about her.
ohh yes it was a long time ago,we were still babies on the junior high school,weren't we ?
well it doesn't matter how many heads are you going to catch to be your friends.
okay,it was an ACCIDENT.
you said this person was hypocrite, but i guess u got no time to look at the mirror for a second.
you mocked me at the beggining then you act like i wasn't a sinner for you,
thats pathetic okay,
i dont wanna tease you or what,i just wanna get this straight.

this shit is now closed.

Because i'm not actually scared,i'm just nervous to see the future.

GRANGERIOUS !

the first time i i heard about the thing that might break my heart i felt like i SHOCKED.
then people came around me and keep on covering my air.
they didn't wanna me to take another breath before i'm going away.
and i just kept praying in my heart,and it was blur.
yes,you may know that,i'm not alive no more.
the soul of mine has just gone out,no i'm not dead.
i was just called to see what life's gonna be the next thousand years.
no,i'm not actually afraid,i'm just nervous of seeing the future.
especially when u may see the thing that you actually shouldn't have seen.
you may feel like you're the pitiest.
but you are not!
you prayed for magic,and when the magic's next to your face.
you can't stand looking it.
you met unlookable thing for some seconds and you've been shouting crazy like an idiot cuz no one has heard what's the thing that you've been saying about.
give up?
no,there's no giving up,u have to continue,they don't care with tears,sadness,and shouting.
cuz they're just dark,that makes them couldn't understand anything.
you've begged for it,and they've given you the thing.
so what's next?
next,you're just going to be back in your body and ask people for forgiveness on every single sin that you've done.
when you're done with that.
they're going to back soon,cuz you weren't free.
but you were back to be gone.


they don't care with tears
they dont care with sadness
they don't care with every single word you've been shouting on.

Those are the things that keep my hand on this praying style,i just can't stand all night with those sounds.

now this is sounds really fascinating for me.
i'm feeling that something weird has entered my body,my heart,my mind.
it changed almost the whole me,and when it turned me to someone else,i was just thinking that:"how suppose if this is gonna be forever?"
and suddenly,i opened my eyes,and i faced the mirror,and its just still me.
but,in a second i realized that something has just got into my mind and it handles me now.
now, i'm just feeling different.
when people got their self into angerness,i wished it was raining.
and suddenly it comes true,now i'm feeling different again.
i feel like catching the rain and get my self relaxed on the water drops by drops.
i'm just thinking how to get my self back just like i was.
i wished for magic,but there was nothing happened to me.
i was just still there,sitting alone with no one like an idiot.
and so after minutes wasted,i can feel it.
someone entered my body and i couldn't move a step even.
and then i realized, i heard noise,it was my clock.
it's now 6.30, time to get my ass up.
no,it wasn't a dream,i am the chosen one,the chosen one for a mission that i would never have been expected before.

but one thing i'm sure,i was chosen not to help people,but to scare people.

now i feel like you're here with me.
promising me that you will never leave me alone.
and when you finished with your words,
i will just say, ENJOY THE WHIPS.

Look at me bitch,i'm breathing without you, i'm just still breathing without you

GLAMOURIOUSSS .

HAPPY SUNDAY !
well people,i had my church in the morning today.
finished with church,we were having fun there like monkeys.
laughing,screaming and keep our selves on pissing people off.
then ignasia,yosandi and i went back,nasia decided to go over my house.
well,that's a good thing.
but she went to yosandi's house first.
then when yosandi had to go for his basketball(iuw) training,nasia came to mine.
we surfed the net,then we cooked fried potatoes.
well,dont ask how was the taste.
cuz we even can't describe how the shape was like ?
here are the conversation !

Ignasia: "itu minyaknya kurang banyak bodo yer"
yeremi: "matamu kurang banyak,nanti jadi kelembekkan dia"
Ignasia: "udala,gak mungkin,,tambah lagi!
(then i add more oil there)
Ignasia: "ih mak,knapa pulak kentangnya yer (dicolek-colek lagi kentangnya)
Yeremi: "gatau ak ya,ada kurasa org begok tadi yg maksa-maksa aku nambah minyak"
Ignasia: "alahh,kentangmu ini sala kali,uda kadaluarsa,udala matiin aja apinya"
(then we put it in a plate)

Yeremi: "udala nas,aku uda kenyang,kw aja yg makan"

lol,it was good,but the shape was just like somekind of vomits.

I got my mind stucked on this thing when i remembered the memories,the memories that i should've deleted.

LARMAXILLIES !

i know that we both may have noticed that we're on something that sucks a lot,
well,i guess not at all for you.
its usually just becuz of missunderstanding,but this time,i'm just keep thinking that this one is just totally different.
you may have known that i'm totally sensitive,i'm not just sensitive,i'm more than sensitive sometimes.
but thats just when i have to force my self,you guys just can't realize that i've got something in my mind to think about for this full year.
and do not get it on a wrong way,we keep the silence,and silence breaks our heart.
uderstanding and loyalty aren't fully needed now.
it's just that we have to make another changes for our future.
you've realized my bad,and i've realized your bad,
it doesn't mean we're not gonna meet no more,we still have a long time to be,aren't we ?
well,you keep thinking that it's not anyone's fault,but that's just what your heart says.


WE'RE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FACE THESE TRUTHS
WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF YOUNGER THAT HAVE TO LEARN MORE
keep that in mind.

There was us on the rooftop,starring the stars,i chose my star and you chose the star that was next to mine,and it kept shining all night,but where they are now?

as what its written above,
"WHERE THEY ARE NOW?"
its just like us,we were shining all day even,laughing and screaming out loud.
But now,here we are with no voice.
all are just scripts.
we laughed together,but our heart wasn't.
i always to breathe my self without you.
but its just so hard.
when you were with another i felt like a jerk and jealousy was mine.
but when i was breathing with another bitch you say that i've forgotten you.
we're not matched no more,
it keeps struggling my mine.
and if you wanna take your own way.
FINE,

THE MORE WE CRIED, THE MORE WE HATE EACH OTHER.